March 26, 2016

Black Saturday

Today is Black Saturday. It is sometimes called "Joyous Saturday" or "the Saturday of Light". It is the day before Easter and the last day of Holy Week in which Christians prepare for Easter. It commemorates the day that Jesus Christ's body lay in the tomb and the Harrowing of Hell.

I feel so low today. Maybe it's the pms period (that time when girls just cry or are so moody and can't stop eating. If you can't get what I mean, please Google PMS). Or maybe it has something to do with the FNAB test that my endocrinologist told me to undergo. FNAB is Fine needle aspiration biopsy . It plays a crucial role in the diagnosis of thyroid nodules and enables the number of surgical operations to be reduced.

I have been under Dr. Litonjua for 15 years for my thyroid nodules but it was the first time that he told me, "I do not like the impression of this nodule. Go and have an FNAB guided with ct or ultrasound". Many things crossed my mind. I thought of Mama. My mom passed away at 43. I'm turning 43 this July.  What if?...

I'm not afraid to die because we're all going there anyway. It's just that, I'm not ready yet. I still want to organize and host my children's weddings and see my grandchildren.

It's Black Saturday. I'm feeling low. Maybe it's the pms playing tricks on me.

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